BEHAVIOR & TRAINING

How Do Cats Choose Their Favorite Person: How to Become Your Cat’s Favorite

cat loving her owner
Martha Harvey
Written by Martha Harvey

Cats are portrayed as independent and sometimes solitary creatures that don’t show their affections as easily as dogs; however, this is far from true. Cats are able to build and maintain social relations, and just like us, they have their preferences when it comes to people they like or dislike. In households with multiple humans, a cat may have several persons she likes but only one that she favors significantly above all others. Many owners wonder: how do cats choose their favorite person?

Every cat is different; some show their attachment by following the owner’s every move, others will only sleep in their owner’s lap. Your cat will have her unique way of showing that you are her person.

To become your cat’s favorite person, you will have to work on deepening your bond and learning to understand what she is trying to communicate with you. Depending on your cat’s personality and other factors, it may take some time to get her to perceive you as her go-to person, but the end result is definitely worth it.

In this article, we will explain why some cats attach only to one person and how they choose that special human. And we will also share some tips that will help you become your kitty’s favorite.

Why Cats Tend to Prefer One Person Over the Others

It comes as no surprise to anyone who shares a home with a cat that cats can choose a favorite person over all other family members. Even though cats aren’t so keen on showing affection like dogs are, they are more than capable of developing deep attachments to a single person.

Still, every cat is different, and it is possible that a cat shows the same level of devotion to several family members and doesn’t have a favorite person.

The factors that are believed to influence a cat’s tendency to develop a bond with one special person are:

#1: Breed

Russian blue cat

Many cat behaviorists say that certain breeds have room for only one special person in their life. However, others say that the breed doesn’t have anything to do with it.

Whichever is true, the fact is that Bengals, Himalayans, Siamese, Norwegian Forest Cats, and Russian Blues are believed to be one-person cats. It is said that these breeds get along well with all family members, but once they find a special person, there is only room for that one.

They need a lot of interaction and attention, and once the connection is established, these cats don’t feel the need to spend a lot of time with other family members.

While being a cat’s favorite comes with perks, it can also be overwhelming since these breeds tend to depend a lot on their owners. An additional complication can occur if you have to leave your cat at home for some time and she develops separation anxiety.

Nonetheless, these breeds make wonderful companions for homes with children, other pets, or single people. Having a four-legged fur devotee is a great thing if you know how to reciprocate that amount of affection.

#2: Communication

cat communicating with hew owner

Cats are naturally more suspicious and can be picky and fussy when it comes to choosing their go-to person, but this is part of their heritage that can’t be erased by domestication.

A recent study has shown that the relationship between a cat and her owner is as complex as the relationship between two people, and that says a lot. Cats build their relationships the same way we do by assessing the actions and behaviors of people towards them and form their attachments accordingly.

Felines tend to gravitate towards people who are able to communicate with them the best, and that person becomes the favored one amongst all other household members.

Cats use subtle noises to communicate their wants and needs on a daily basis, and the person who is able to understand what a kitty wants is held in higher regard. At the end of the day, cats just want to be understood, so when that happens, it isn’t surprising that a cat shows a special kind of devotion to that particular person.

See Also: How to Talk to Your Cat

#3: Mutual Understanding

man petting orange cat

Since each cat is unique, all of them have unique needs, and the same approach won’t get your cat to regard you better. For example, fearful cats will become more attached to a person that makes them feel safe, and a cat that likes to play all day will be more devoted to a person that plays with her every day.

At the end of the day, the person who can interact in a way that a cat wants to be interacted with will become that cat’s favorite person.

The most important thing in any relationship is mutual understanding, and while people still don’t speak cat tongue, there are ways to observe your cat’s behavior and do your best to accommodate her needs.

A cat will acknowledge your effort, and every time her needs are met, she will feel happier and understood. This is the reason why skittish cats tend to bond deeper with owners who give them space and make them feel secure.

#4: Respecting the Cat’s Personal Space

cat's personal space

While mutual understanding and communication don’t seem hard, many people make mistakes while interacting with felines. One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make is approaching and handling a cat when she doesn’t want to be handled.

We know how adorable cats can be, but not all of them are cuddly types and cornering a cat can only frighten and stress her out.

Actions like these can undermine your attempts to become your cat’s favorite person and only make her scared of you. When you think about it, who likes to be touched by strangers without their consent? It is best to stop pressuring the cat to interact and encourage her to come to you.

Every cat is an individual, and her preferences are largely dependent on her personality and character. Let’s say, you spend time with your kitty every day, you feed her, clean the litter box, play, and cuddle her, and she still prefers your husband more than you.

While it is true that you meet all of your cat’s needs, she probably prefers your husband because he lets her sleep in the bed or some other “small thing” is to blame.

See Also: How to Get Your Cat to Sleep with You

How to Know If You are Your Cat’s Favorite Person

cat sleeping on his owner

There are many ways a cat can show affection to her chosen person, and this largely depends on a cat’s personality. However, most cats will purr, sit in your lap, sleep with you, knead, or follow you around all day. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, some cats will also use their claws and teeth to show how much they appreciate you.

You can observe and analyze your cat’s behavior towards other family members to see how affectionate she is toward them. Once you have all the necessary information, compare your cat’s interaction to see if any behaviors are exclusive to you. More often than not, a cat will only sleep with her favorite person, allow them to touch her on the stomach, lay in their lap, or knead just them.

However, keep in mind that all cats are different and that yours can have a special way of showing you how much she loves you. On the other hand, you may find that your cat shows the same amount of devotion to all family members and that no one sticks out. This is quite normal behavior for some cats, and you can try to improve your communication and interaction to become her favorite.

On the other hand, if you clearly see that your kitty already has her favorite, don’t despair. That doesn’t mean that your kitty doesn’t love and appreciate you. You can try to understand your cat’s unique needs better and see what it is that that other person is doing and you aren’t.

What to Do to Become Your Cat’s No. 1 Person

There are ways to change your cat’s perception if you noticed that she is more affectionate towards other family members and only occasionally treats you with purrs of delight or nap in your lap.

Cats tend to hold a grudge for a long time, so think about any of the previous actions that may have caused your cat to be less affectionate towards you. Cats need more time to warm up to a person than dogs do, but in the end, all of your hard work will pay off.

#1: Give your cat some personal space

cat lying on floor

A cat can be perfectly content and relaxed while you stroke her, and in the next second, she can lash out and scratch your hand. Cats are known for their mood swings, and it is up to you to interpret those swings to become your cat’s favorite.

As we said before, cats don’t like being petted or cornered when they aren’t in the mood for interaction.

Cats like when they are in control and respect people who honor their personal space. If you learn how to do that, your kitty will appreciate the effort and show her devotion at some point when she is in the mood for it.

#2: Meet your cat’s needs

feeding a cat

Although cats are independent, they still count on us to feed them and keep their litter boxes clean. If you aren’t doing these things already, it is time to start if you desire to make your cat appreciate you more. Serve your cat’s every meal and stick to her old feeding schedule so you won’t disrupt her routine.

Cats are very particular about their bathroom hygiene, and while this may not be your favorite thing to do, it is better than finding poop in the flower pots or the corners of your house. Your kitty will appreciate that you are caring for her basic needs and she will find ways to thank you for it.

#3: Be trustworthy

boy hugging orange cat

As we said, cats can hold a grudge for a long time, so it is important to be on your best behavior from the first day. Your cat may have a hard time warming up to you because you stepped on her tail too many times, kicked her off the sofa, or wanted to cuddle her when she wasn’t up for it.

Cats put a lot of trust in their favorite persons, and your past behaviors may be too unpredictable for your cat to trust you just yet.

Many adopted and stray cats come with a lot of baggage and bad memories, so it can be hard for them to trust people.

It can be that something about you reminds the cat about the people from the past that mistreated her. This can be little things like hair color, voice, age, or any number of other things, and in this case, it is wise to talk to a behavioral specialist.

#4: Spend time playing

playing with a kitten

Daily play sessions are important for the physical and mental health of all cats, and there isn’t a better way to practice your kitty’s hunting skills. Spend at least 15-20 minutes every day playing with your cat, and try to do it at the same time.

This will teach a cat that she can rely on you and will make you trustworthy in her eyes. Active cats are also happy cats, which means that your cat will be in the mood to share some extra love and affection with you.

See Also: DIY Cat Toys

#5: Practice communication

woman communicating with orange kitten

People who communicate and understand their cats are chosen to be the favorite persons and are showered with affection. It is extremely important to learn to read all the little signs to better understand your cat’s needs.

Observe your cat while you are petting her; does she purrs in delight and allow you to touch her tail? Or does she swing her paw at you in annoyance?

Pay attention to all the physical cues your cat is expressing and try to cater to her wants the best you can. After some time, you will learn all the do’s and don’ts and understand your feline on a much deeper level, which will consequently help you become her favorite person.

Wrap Up

cat's favourite person

People who share their living space with a cat or a few of them know that cats can develop deeper bonds with one particular family member. What many people can’t tell you is how do cats choose their favorite person and what grading system they employ.

As it turns out, cats want relationships full of communication and understanding, which are in fact very similar to relationships between people.

A person that knows what a cat wants and is willing to meet her needs more often than not is the one showered with attention and held in higher regard compared to other family members.

Depending on personality, some cats can pick a favorite, and others will show an equal amount of devotion to several household members. This is completely normal, but if you desire to stand out, there are ways to deepen your bond with your cat and become her No. 1 person.

Does your cat have a favorite person? Do you know the reason why the cat picked that person? Share your answers with us and our readers in the comment section below. To deepen the bond between you and your cat, you may want to learn how to decipher what your cat is conveying. Start by reading our article what does it mean when a cat licks you.

About the author
Martha Harvey
Martha Harvey

Martha Harvey is a skilled veterinarian and a member of American Veterinary Medical Association from Greeley, Colorado. She has 20 years experience of working in Animal Hospital. Martha loves all of her patients, but her favorite one is the Russian Blue cat Stitch, who lives with her.

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